This word implies feelings, love, passion. In contrast to the dry official «spouse». Why do women romanticize the image of a lover? And does it always correspond in reality to all the qualities that we endow it with? After all, most often he is also someone’s husband.
The word «lover» unambiguously emphasizes the sexual nature of the relationship. Still, it would be strange to choose a lover according to other criteria than according to the criterion of sexuality, without experiencing physical attraction to him. Undoubtedly, a lover is sexy, even if not handsome!
Is it due to his voice, look, facial features, strength, tenderness, ability to listen, smell, experience, sensuality, or even self-confidence with which he demonstrates his desire?
In any case, he is so sexy that a woman conquered by him is capable of anything. She is ready to change his attitude towards her, to love even what is not in him at all, to suffer from frustration due to his absence in everyday life, to violate moral norms, to neglect her obligations. What to say!
The question is different — in comparison, or rather, opposition of husband and lover. Does the former necessarily have to be perceived as less sexual in order to justify the need for the latter? Husband as the cause of wife’s infidelity? Such assumptions allow us to better understand the rage that a deceived man feels: in the eyes of society, the love pleasures of a wife on the side clearly indicate his lack of masculinity and sexual attractiveness.
But is a lover really so erotic and courageous that a woman is ready to take a big risk? Or is it more about her curiosity about the other, about her personal search, about the new sensations that arise when she looks tenderly at someone else’s man, whatever his shortcomings … including a lack of masculinity?
A woman perceives her lover as a «conqueror», while her husband is the embodiment of «duty»
Is it possible to feel sexual attraction to a person without turning on your own fantasy? In love relationships, reality and fiction are definitely intertwined. Moreover, do not forget that many of these «irresistible» lovers are someone else’s husbands.
A lover is rather not someone who is “better” than a husband. The lover is just «different». He offers his partner a new perspective on herself and her sexuality. The woman perceives him as a «conqueror», and therefore he allows her to realize suppressed desires, while the husband turns out to be the embodiment of «duty».
The eroticism of love relationships is born during meetings, through a sense of freedom and vivid intrigue. It is in the game of glances thrown at each other that sexual attraction flares up or goes out.
How attractive a husband or lover is to a woman does not depend on their real masculine qualities, but on what a woman now needs more — in an orderly, measured social life or in adventure and love quests.
Naturally, a husband may wonder what happened to his sexual status in marriage, because he still evaluates himself through the eyes of other women and innocently plays seducer, barely stepping over the threshold.