ינהאַלט
לאנג-טערמין פּלאַנירונג העלפּס די מיינונג צו קאָפּע מיט די-עסקאַלירונג
פּסיכאָלאָגיע
Not tormenting ourselves with the things that we have missed during the time of confinement and keeping our minds active with plans that motivate us can help us to cope with the de-escalation phases
“Being in control of everything around us is not possible.” Timanfaya Hernández, a health and forensic psychologist, believes that we must not convince ourselves that everything we are experiencing about Covid-19 will happen because it is something that we do not know for sure, but rather understand that we will live good and important moments again.
We have all stopped hugging or caressing someone, we have also let go of many plans, many outings with friends, parties, meetings in cafes, visits to museums, concerts or that trip that we had been planning for months, but the expert recommends not thinking a lot about it: “Thinking about what we have missed or not done only increases our anguish. We can get an apprenticeship about how we would like manage our time and in what, and begin to focus on it “, advises the psychologist Timanfaya Hernández, from Globaltya Psicólogos.
For this it is important to accept the nature of the mind. Elsa García, a psychologist at the Cepsim psychological center, says that the mind thinks what it wants and when you want, and is also designed to shuffle adverse scenariosThat is why it bothers us so much when we are not the ones who are in charge of our lives, but the Coronavirus. “That the mind is free and can direct other situations has been an evolutionary advantage that has facilitated our survival but, at the same time, it is a nuisance when thinking revolves around situations or aspects that we cannot modify,” he explains. Because is able to imagine the worst, anticipating inconvenience, anticipating upset, or yearning endlessly, and there is little point in fighting it.
Plan for the long term cautiously
We do not know when we will return to what we knew as normality but Elsa García assures that the fact of planning for the long term can help us feel better and knowing how to handle the phases that have been imposed on us. «It can always be a comfort to think of something we really want to do, imagine the moment that could come true, plan the details … It is more useful to think about things that will come to deal with a lack of motivation or any of these unpleasant feelings of the ones we talk about », concludes the expert in psychology.
Having objectives and goals is a positive thing. It gives guidelines to our life and generates illusion. On the other hand, the psychologist Timanfaya Hernández has something to say about making long-term plans because she points out that we must be cautious with how our expectations of life affect us. «Expectations too rigid make us suffer because there are a thousand circumstances that may not be fulfilled and learning to live in it is a complex task but we must work. You have to be clear that unforeseen events may arise along the way, “he says. The expert says that the ability to adapt is one of the best tools of the human being and recommends that our happiness «never depend on a single goal'.
יאַרנינג
If you look back, surely you visualize yourself thinking of something that you would have done at another time without any problem, but that now a global pandemic in between has taken you away. When the longing for the time that will not return or frustration for what we wish for but we cannot do it, says Elsa García that it is useful embrace these experiences, investigate them without judgment, with a kind attitude, investigating the reflection they have in our body, the thoughts that accompany them as if it were their soundtrack, observing how they are, without more, without trying to change them. “If we focus on it long enough appropriately, we will find that the intensity of these thoughts is short-lived and soon passes. At least, it happens earlier and in a milder way than if we get tangled up in a unbridled fight against them ”, advises the Cepsim psychologist.
Also, lack of understanding sometimes leads us to be impatient and to want to fight against circumstances, something that the specialist advises against: «You have to become aware of what is happening and respect what I want but cannot. What you have to do is empathize with it as we would with someone we love very much who is having a bad time because they are impatient and frustrated. In those cases we give him a hug, we don’t scold him, and we say reassuring words like “it is normal for you to feel this way, the time will come sooner than you think, I understand you …”. It’s time to focus on what surrounds us and start activities that are pleasant to us and help us to go through a bad time of sadness or anger ».
טראַוומע
Without a doubt, the appearance of a possible trauma is something that psychologists do not rule out. What’s more, they are prepared for when this happens: «Some people may be traumatized by the experience, but it will not be a generalized effect but will depend on individual conditions of vulnerability and the subjective impact of the experience of each one, added to the severity of consequences who has had or may have confinement for each person, “says psychologist Elsa García.
“Confinement alone does not lead to trauma. What he has experienced during it may well be: the loss of loved ones, the experience of the disease closely, complicated life situations are examples of those circumstances, says Timanfaya Hernández, a satinar psychologist, and adds that there is no single message for all these situations but that when these moments are lived and they affect our family environment, social or work, is an indicator that help is needed.
In any case, the traumatic experience and overcoming the impact, most likely, as the Cepsim expert says, will require the support that a qualified professional can provide, because in general they are experiences that seriously alter people’s lives and generate a lot of suffering.