די ווירקונג פון אַ "מיד" טעלער: ווי צו פאַרמייַדן סייקאָוסאַמאַטיק חולאתן

Have you ever had a glass break in your hands? Or did the plate break in two? There were no apparent reasons for this. Engineers have an explanation for why the dishes become unusable.

There is such a thing as «material fatigue» — the process of gradual accumulation of damage under the action of alternating stress, leading to a change in the properties of the material, the formation of cracks and destruction.

Simply put, you used a cup or plate for a long time, dropped it, heated it, cooled it. And in the end it fell apart at the most inopportune moment. The same thing happens with the body: stresses, conflicts, secret desires, fears accumulate inside and sooner or later break through in the form of physical ailments.

stress and disease

Clients often come to me, whose inner tension is felt almost physically. They do not cry, they speak calmly, they reason reasonably. But I kind of feel static around them, and I’m well aware of what will happen when the heat reaches its limit.

It would be better if the explosion resulted in controlled open aggression, if the tension could be relieved in karate or sambo classes, dancing or fitness. Or even quarreling with your spouse. But the explosion occurs inside and destroys the body.

I ask such clients the question: “What is your health now?” As a rule, they begin to talk about what really hurts them.

And here is the time to ask the next question: “What happened in your life 6-8 months ago?” Here is the root of the problems that do not allow the client to live in peace and quality. Where does such a connection come from?

As long as the psyche works as a buffer between the inner and outer world, a person seems to be coping with stress. The psyche is mobilized, its goal is to «survive» in the proposed conditions, to minimize losses.

But when the duration of stress and / or its strength become unbearable for the psyche, the body gives up and “breaks” in the thinnest, weakest place for each specific organism. This is psychosomatics — diseases of the body that occur under the influence of long-term adverse psycho-emotional factors.

שוואַכער לינק

Typically, a «blow to the body» occurs 6-8 months after the traumatic event. It seems that everything is behind, but then it starts to “break”. The accumulated stress causes the body to give up.

We believe that the body will always be our protection, will last until the moment of physical death. But it is vulnerable, prone to diseases, chronic and acute, which are often difficult to treat. And psychological problems can become their cause.

Many still think that only weaklings go to psychologists, that all psychologists are charlatans. At the same time, many believe that they take care of their body, go to the dentist, go to fitness, follow the rules of a healthy lifestyle. So why don’t we take care of the health of our psyche, don’t carry out the prevention of nervous breakdowns, conflicts, destructive communication?

Here is an example from practice. A young and active woman was taken away from work in an ambulance with a ruptured ovary. Prior to that, I met her only once, and her inner energy strain was incredibly strong, «thick», almost hung in the air. There were no mechanical damages or injuries. But after the woman recovered and we started working, it turned out that about nine months ago her wedding was canceled and she ugly broke up with her ex-fiance.

Another girl injured her leg on a mountain slope. She then walked on crutches for six months. When asked what happened a year ago, she replied that she had a big fight with her husband and almost divorced. Both clients did not directly connect their traumas with experiences. Meanwhile, the psychologist simply cannot fail to notice the relationship between experienced stress and damage in the body.

ווי צו העלפן זיך

There are several ways to help yourself uncover the causes of diseases and avoid new ones:

1. Realize. The sooner you admit to yourself that you are stressed, the better. The very fact of understanding the situation will make it possible to influence what is happening and manage your condition.

2. Take back control. Usually, in difficult situations, we take a reactionary position, falling under the “blow of fate”, we are forced to react. At times like these, it’s important to take back control. You can say to yourself: “Yes, the situation is difficult now, but I am alive, which means I can act and influence the situation.” Ask yourself:

• What is most important now?
• וואָס טאָן איך ווילן צו באַקומען ווי אַ רעזולטאַט?
• What can I do to take back control of my life?
• וואָס רעסורסן טאָן איך האָבן?
• וואָס קען זיין דער ערשטער שריט?
• Who can support me?

3. שטיצן. You should not be alone in the moments of life’s trials. The sincere support of a loved one, his interest in your fate and the desire to help figure it out can be a resource for finding the most effective way out:

• without fixation on the search for the perpetrators — it always leads away from solving the situation;
• without pity — it imposes the role of the victim;
• without alcohol — it deprives healthy energy, creates the illusion of comfort.

4. Consulting. You may need to consult with various experts in order to collect and compare facts that you can rely on when building a strategy for your behavior. It can be lawyers, child psychologists, doctors, social workers, foundations.

In times of difficult personal trials, for which you usually do not prepare in advance, the feeling of “losing the future” is most destructive. We make plans, imagine what will happen in a year, ten years, twenty. We look forward to the dates and events that form the feeling of the flow of life.

A difficult situation seems to cancel the future. At such moments, remind yourself that this is just a game of the mind, which has been taken away from control. It just seems that there is no future, and the present has lost its colors and brightness.

To resist the challenges of fate, to illuminate our future, to make the present bright and, most importantly, healthy — all this is in our power.