טעסטאַמאָוניאַל: שמואל ס אַנפילטערד אינטערוויו, @samueletgaspard אויף ינסטאַגראַם

Parents: How did you come up with the idea of ​​becoming a stay-at-home dad?

שמואל: I was a third year medical student when Léa, my wife, got pregnant. The profession of doctor attracted me, but the studies and the apprenticeship system did not suit me at all. The announcement of this pregnancy precipitated my decision and redefined my outlook. I understood better what was most important, and when Gaspard was born, my priority was clearly to pay him special attention.

What do you think is the image of a stay-at-home dad today?

It is still quite negative, more misunderstood than that of the stay-at-home mother. It doesn’t make money, so for a lot of people, it’s not a job… I sometimes argue my choice when faced with criticism on social networks. It also happens that I do not dwell on it. I recognize that it is a real luxury to be able to make this choice, to take this time.

Where do you find recognition on a daily basis?

I especially do not expect Gaspard! If we expect gratitude from the child, we can make him feel guilty, find himself trapped, disappointed in his own expectation. The reward is the child himself, what he will then be able to “return” to society because we will have done our best to help him become autonomous, free, able to interact with them. others with respect, to be empathetic …

How would you define your father-son relationship?

It’s not perfect, but we have a very good relationship, a lot of intimacy, of complicity. We quickly understand the emotions of the other, we each feel our energies. This is undoubtedly what is called the paternal instinct, well I prefer to say the parental instinct.

ווי זענען דיין טעג?

A schedule was established naturally. Gaspard wakes up around 8 a.m. The three of us have breakfast, we need a little quiet time with soft music. When Léa leaves for work, we do a creative activity, construction, drawing, plasticine, or a walk to the market. Then after the meal and the calm weather, we go to the park, or we do a hike, or a more cultural visit with other parents and their children or we play in the house, the garden, we make huts. Then, a little sport session with me, bath and meal. It is Léa who reads the story, but it is with me that Gaspard falls asleep around 20 pm.

Do you cook with Gaspard?

Yes, several times a day. He stands on his little observation tower, he noses, nibbles, cuts … His sweet tooth is chocolate, in particular the ganache for the pies … We also like to make pizzas, frangipane pancakes. I even co-wrote a cookbook called “In the Kitchen with Dad”!

Nobody helps you?

We have a housekeeper half a day a week. On the other hand for the laundry, he helps me a lot, he has his little clothes rack! And for the past year, a nanny has been coming home two afternoons a week. And Léa takes over in the evening and on weekends.

Are there difficult times?

Yes, sometimes I am tired, I need calm. While Gaspard still has energy to spare, especially during periods of confinement. In these moments, I do everything so that we communicate well, not to shout, suggest that he go to his room and bang on some djembes!

What advice do you have for those who are reluctant to become a stay-at-home dad?

For those who are passionate about home education, child development is great. But do not force yourself, it would be deleterious for everyone. If we have the deep feeling that this situation is going to suit us, we have to trust ourselves. We lack role models and a lot of social norms work against this instinct. You can also become a stay-at-home parent for a time. For my part, from September (Gaspard will go to school), I am embarking on a project, it is a decision that I take calmly.