רימען און ספּאַנקינג ווי אַ פאַקט פון לעבן

Whipping is a rather cruel thing. This is the physical punishment of a child, usually with a strap on the buttocks, with the task of making the child very hurt and hurt many times, so that he no longer does what he is being whipped for. Giving a belt is not a spanking, it is giving a belt that hurts once or twice. In our time, spanking and a belt as methods of education are practically not used, although threats of this from parents (usually from fathers) sound, ending only with slaps on the pope.

However, everything happens in life. Real life examples:

The experience of spanking strongly depends on the life environment of the child: if the relationship is simple, if around, in other families, all the children are spanked, and so, and on schedule, spanking is perceived as an ordinary punishment. If no one is physically punished, but I was punished, and even — worst of all — my friends found out about it and can tease it, the child can experience it very much, like a mental trauma.

In families with a simple relationship, the threat of spanking is perceived as normal as in an advanced family, the threat of being left without a TV.

Watch the video «Adoption» from the film «Liquidation», where, right during the adoption, a child steals from his newfound father — a watch …

spanking efficiency

The effectiveness of spanking is debatable. It seems that in spanking, children are more afraid not of the pain itself, but of the feeling of helplessness and humiliation. They are often proud of their ability to withstand a spanking (“I don’t give a damn about anything!”). If relations in the family are problematic, parents do not have authority, then spanking does not add anything to such relations: the child’s fear of pain will not replace the parents’ lack of authority. The maximum that can sometimes be achieved is to neutralize children in their completely antisocial tendencies.

I’m not afraid of my mother — I’ll go and steal to my mother. I’m afraid of my dad — I’m not going to steal.

It seems that you need to distinguish: regular spanking and once given a belt. Regular flogging has either on pedagogical helplessness, or on the sadistic inclinations of parents. Sometime to give a belt in a situation where a child tests his parents for strength, does not listen to words and does everything in defiance — at least in simple families it can be a reasonable necessity and is quite understood by the children themselves: “Run up? — got».

In families where the children are normal, because the parents themselves are smart and well-mannered people, spanking and a belt are not in demand in any way, they are easily dispensed with and are viewed rather as savagery.

It is more difficult to answer parents who have already neglected their children, where the children are difficult, and the parents themselves do not differ in culture: “So what instead of spanking?” — Answer: to become normal parents.

Research shows:

Many mothers and fathers who used severe physical punishment were, moreover, cold and indifferent to their children, at times even openly hostile to them, did not pay attention to them, and often showed inconsistency or connivance in the education of their offspring. In a classic study by R. Sears, E. Maccoby, and G. Levin, it was shown that parents who use gu.e.e. physical punishment not only beat their children quite often, but were also inconsistent and at times even allowed excessive connivance (Sears, Maccoby and Levin, 1957). In a study by Oregon scientists, it was also found that parental punitiveness is mixed with other qualities. As Patterson repeatedly emphasized, the mothers and fathers of the problem children he and his staff examined were not only overly punitive, but were also effective in instilling discipline in their children. They were not sufficiently selective and consistent in their choice of actions to reward or punish, and constantly and indiscriminately nagged, cursed, and threatened their children (Patterson, 1986a, 1986b; Patterson, Dishion and Bank, 1984; Patterson, DeBaryshe and Ramsey, 1989). See →

Maybe it’s more in this, and not in the spanking itself?

Difficult issues are not quickly resolved. Parents need patience, and children need a healthy environment. If you can’t cope with the child yourself — think about who could help you with this. If adults themselves live like human beings, if a child is surrounded by both love and reasonable severity, even difficult children get better in a few years. See, for example, the experience of the Kitezh community.