זיין אַ פאטער פון אַ מיידל אָדער אַ יינגל: די דיפעראַנסיז

A model of identification … each

From the start, the father is the one who opens the mother-child couple. It balances the psychic structuring of his children by comforting his boy in his own sex and by being a “revelation” for his daughter. Thus the father plays an important role in the construction of the sexual identity of the child. But a much different role, whether it’s a boy or a girl. Model of identification for her boy, this one will seek to resemble her, he is a kind of ideal model for her daughter, the one she will seek after puberty.

The father is more demanding with a boy

Often a dad is more severe with his son than with his daughter. This one knows very well how to coax him while a boy often goes to the confrontation. In addition, the level of requirement placed on a boy is stricter, more is expected of him. The father often invests his son with a more fundamental mission in life, to earn a living, to maintain a family… the notion of breadwinner is still relevant today.

The father has more patience with his daughter

Because he doesn’t project the same things on each of the sexes, sometimes a dad tends to be a lot more patient with his daughter. Even unintentionally, a failure of her son will generate disappointment while that of her daughter rather compassion and encouragement. It is common for a dad to expect more results from his son, and faster.

Girl or boy: a dad has a different bond

The relationship that is created with a parent is gendered. A child does not act the same way with his father or his mother and a dad does not have the same attitude according to the sex of his child. This does not prevent him from creating a real bond that will last a lifetime. It starts with the games. It’s a cliché, but often the heckling and brawling are reserved for boys while girls are entitled to quieter games, interspersed all the same with attacks of tender “guilis”. As children grow older, and sexual identification takes hold, bonding is built on one side in virility and on the other side in charm.

Girl or boy: the dad does not feel the same pride

Both of his children make him as proud as each other… but not for the same reasons! He does not place the same expectations on his son and his daughter. With a boy, it is obviously the manly side that takes precedence. He is strong, he knows how to defend himself, he does not cry, in short he behaves like a man. That he is a leader, or even a rebel, does not displease him.

With his daughter, it is rather the grace, the distinction, the mischief that enchanted him. A flirtatious and sensitive little girl, like the image he has of women, makes him proud. The rugby player against the prima ballerina, scientific disciplines against artistic subjects …

The father gives his son more freedom

This is perhaps the biggest difference in the treatment of dads: while he struggles to let his miss grow, he often pushes his son to independence. We find this phenomenon in all areas of everyday life. In the park, he will encourage his son to launch himself on the big slide while he will not let go of his daughter’s hand, even if it means twisting in all directions. At school, his daughter’s crying may give him a surge of tenderness when he feels embarrassed if his son expresses his fear or grief.

In general, he is much more protective of his daughter than of his son, whom he will always encourage to brave danger, taking up Kipling’s adage “you will be a man, my son”

Father takes care of a baby boy more easily

It is almost unanimous, dads are more comfortable taking care of their little boy than their little girl. Girls’ “stuff” confuses them, they hesitate to wash or change them, they absolutely do not know how to make a duvet and wonder why these short pants from last summer are so short this winter! With a boy, it goes without saying, he reproduces gestures he has always known. Everything is logical for him, a boy dresses “normally”, he simply combs his hair, we do not spread cream (well that’s what he thinks) … no question of barrette, tights, sweater that goes under the dress or over the dress? Pants, a polo shirt, a sweater, it’s simple, it’s like him!

The father has a special tenderness for his daughter

Love is undoubtedly also deep for all children, but the signs of tenderness are not necessarily the same. Very cuddly with baby regardless of his gender, dad often puts a distance with his son when he grows up. He continues to make his little sweetheart jump on his knees when he begins to put on more manly “hugs” with his son. However, children also participate in this phenomenon. Little girls know how to melt their daddy, they charm him constantly while very quickly boys reserve this type of sweetness for their mom.